Wednesday, January 12, 2011

My predictions for 2011

Joe Tarzia continues to file complaints against Mayor Malloy, despite the fact that Mr. Malloy is no longer the Mayor of Stamford.

Disproving the assertion that Stamford has no culture, Evil Dead the Musical plays a sold-out 12-week run at the Palace.

The Hole in the Ground is finally filled in when Governor Malloy, fed up with the political mess in Hartford, moves the state capitol building to Stamford. Bickering lawmakers don't notice for a full month that it's gone.

A group of car-storage fans borrow a page from the Stamford Pizza Tour and put together the Stamford Parking Tour, a ranking of the city's public and private parking facilities based on such criteria as price, ease of entrance and egress, width of spaces, and proximity to local attractions.

UConn Stamford sees its enrollment grow 400% after it announces that Megan Fox will be teaching "Acting for Dummies," based completely on her experience as the star of two Transformers movies.

And finally, a mildly popular local blogger gets mentioned by Oprah, does the morning-show circuit, moves to L.A. to try to capitalize on his new-found fame, gets caught up in the seedy underground world of pheasant racing, spends a week at Lindsay Lohan Minimum Security Prison, comes back to The City That Works, and returns to crankily blogging about Stamford's lack of cheese shops and bakeries.

4 comments:

Always Home and Uncool said...

I tell ya - with Springer filming here, the Stamford Arts folks really need to bring in Jerry Springer: The Opera. Talk about sin-ergy!

Anonymous said...

hilarious! well done

Anonymous said...

I would love to see a parking lot tour!

Scott said...

Stamford Parking Lot Tour? Any takers? We'll plug it.